i cant do this anymore.
i cant stop throwing up.
i cant stop counting calories.
i cant stop checking my scale...

i am forced to drink nutrition shakes in front of my dad twice a day.
he sniffs the toilet every time i use the restroom to make sure i dont throw up.
i am in hell.

i weigh 115lbs now.

i feel like a fat ass though...

i hate myself now.
i hate this obsession...
i'd rather be dead.
i cant carry out a single fucking conversation with my family without talk of my fucking disorder.

i'm going to the doctor next monday.
there, my dad is sending me to a nutritionist and a therapist.
they cant help me.
no one can...

someone... please help me...